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Surviving the Storm

A guide to surviving the curve balls life throws at us.

Surviving the Storm

Blog submission by @CrazyCurvyYoga

Pain is an interesting thing. We’ve all had our fair share of it, that’s for damn sure. However, it’s really about how you handle it. One of my close fitness friends and fellow autism mom, always reminds me that we can get through hard things. It’s so true, we pull up our big girl pants, throw on our #NamasteAsFuck shirts and life rolls on. 

As I’m sitting here typing this out, I’m going through hard shit. My husband and I have filed for divorce again. We are terrible for each other in a lot of ways, but we love each other carelessly. It sounds confusing, and that’s because it is. But that’s okay. It’s alright not to know what’s going on. It’s okay not to have the answers that other people seem to need.

It’s okay to explore things in a new light or decide that it’s time to blow the candle out for good. I’ll let you know how that turns out in the future. 

I feel like, for some reason, life has thrown me a few more curveballs than the average woman. Two years ago, my son had a Bone Marrow Transplant, two weeks after my newborn son was born. My older son had medical problems for years. The transplant didn’t work. He traded one life-threatening blood condition for another. He will have Post Bone Marrow Transplant Evan’s Syndrome for the rest of his life. We can hope for remission to come and stay. He doesn’t have cancer, but it’s very similar to leukemia. He’s a fighter like his Mama.

He also has autism, as well as my younger son. I have two daughters, and I live with my soon to be ex-husband, and my ex-husband. How’s that for traditional? Trust me, my family pretty much can’t even look me in the eye. I wasn’t even invited to my brother’s wedding. I don’t hold it against him, and I don’t expect anyone else to understand my life. Our children can’t go to school because of my son’s immune system. We’ve been in isolation for two years. 

HOW DO I SURVIVE THIS SHIT? 

With grace and authenticity. I believe in Karma, and I’m not about to piss her off. So as much as I cry and wonder why I deserve this Shit Show, I try to embrace it. Learn from it. Become a better mother, a better person. When my son @lucasthorkelley was 3, he was in Peter Berg’s movie Patriot’s Day. That was pretty epic, and the friendship that we have found in Pete has been so very humbling. Life has a funny way of reminding us to stay hungry. During the transplant months spent in Boston, I kept my mind busy by obtaining a Doula Certification. For the last year, I’ve been slowly working on my Yoga Teacher Training, and I know I’ll finish that too. Medicinal herbs have also been extremely helpful. Distracting our minds with passion and physical love has been one thing my husband and I never lost. 

I really think when you’re going through the thick of the worst of it. The main things to remember are to:

  1. Stay grounded. For me, it’s yoga, as I need to center my soul on the daily.

  2. Love fearlessly, because life is fucking short.

  3. Stare fear in the eye, and throw your middle finger up.

  4. Allow yourself to cry. For like a minute, then stand back up.

  5. Don’t listen to other people’s suggestions or opinions.

  6. Get as much sleep as humanly possible.

Words flow out of me so fast, and I’ve got my fingertips working on a screenplay with my son. Find something to do, like a hobby. A creative outlet is necessary for therapeutic purposes. Don’t let yourself get stuck inside your head. Anxiety can be crippling. You must learn how to rise above, and mother fucking breathe.

Peace, Love & Chocolate,

@CrazyCurvyYoga