A guide to surviving the curve balls life throws at us.
I don’t belong here
By Mikala Schimke
This used to be a statement of shame and embarrassment for me. Now it holds a lot of power and expanding energy. Here is a truncated version of the beginning of my new story.
I was trying “too hard” and doing “too much” while being “too loud”.
I come on “too strong” and feel “too much” while “making everyone” uncomfortable.
I am intimidating and “rough around the edges”.
BUT.
If I be quieter, softer, smaller, and smoother, I will be better.
I will belong.
BUT.
If I am only allowed there after changing everything about who I am, do I REALLY want to go there?
Why?
Because it’s safe and warm.
Is it?
BUT.
I need to change more. Be even smaller. Talk even less. Less truth. Less me. Is there any left?
I will never be enough. I will never be small enough or quiet enough to make you happy.
I don’t belong here.
Where do I go now?
Listen.
How?
Feel.
Why?
Because what you seek is already present.
What the fuck does that mean?
Honor.
What?
Listen.
TO WHAT?!
Feel.
Why?
Honor.
OMG!
Exactly.
@Mik
Wanna keep up with all things NAF? Drop your email below and snag
