It's October!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

A Powerful Story from one of our NAF Babes - Mik, who’s Mother was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer when she was only 8 years old!

A tidbit of backstory….

I was 8 going on 9 when my mom, 39 at that time, was diagnosed with stage 3 BC. I watched her go through the entire process. She talked with me about some things. Then chemo for months and months. Then recovery for years. Hospital stays and pamphlets galore. Learning where to get the information I needed was key as very few humans talk to children like they would talk to other adults. They decided, for me, that I shouldn’t know a lot and wouldn’t understand it anyway.

Fast forward. April 2010.

My mom, Antigone-Toni for short, heads into the doctor to address a long standing back ache. MRI. Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer. Presenting in her lungs, liver, spine and brain.

The doctors gave her 3 days to live…

On a drive we all took in the coming weeks, not sure why or where anymore. Maybe groceries, or dinner. I remember her looking. She looked at the leaves on the trees in our city. She looked at the air moving them. Swaying. She wanted that freedom. She knew what was coming.

More hospitals. More pamphlets. More drugs. More tests. Constant tests. More chemo. Radiation. Weight loss. More radiation. Heart failure. Kidney failure.

5 years of that.

June 2015, she set herSelf free. And by this, I mean, she allowed her body to rest and her spirit was ready too. She believed that I would be loved and taken care of. She knew that her husband would be ok. He stayed with her. Up until the moments after her passing. Loving her, unconditionally.

I hid under a blanket. I didn’t even cry. I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t believe what just happened. How could she give up now? How could she do this? What will I do without her… I didn’t understand how I could HURT this way. I felt baron, gutted, raw…. completely numb. I couldn’t even hear the people around me. I didn’t realize that level of sadness and pain was actually possible.

Fast forward. Saturday October 16th 2021. I am 32. Just 7 years shy of when my mom was diagnosed the first time.

I sit at my computer. Just got off the phone with my best friend. Told her that I finally partnered with a genetic counselor and sent in my test to find out if I have one, or both, of the breast cancer genes. If I am positive, my life will change forever. If I am negative, my life will change forever.

I have been carrying this weight for almost my entire life. An action I can take to make a difference. I am worth it. It took me many years to understand how that all plays together with self worth and unconditional love. I get it now. And my best friend said “it’s two weeks of high level stress instead of a lifetime of low level stress. It’s worth the wait to know.” Either answer would be a relief. Eliminate the need to write stories in my head of what my future will look like. I am ready to learn this information now. I have reached this point through a lot of self care and love. An understanding that I deserve to know and act. I am worth it.

You are worth it too. And if you are not at high risk (no suggestion of genetic counseling from docs because no family history of breast or related cancers), a self exam take less than 10 minutes. Once a month. Make the time.

______________________________________________________________________________

If you are at high risk and you are afraid of this test, I was too. Still am. You are not along and it is fucking scary. It’s out there when and if you decide you want it. I will not be attaching links or any information on next steps if the test for the gene(s) comes back positive. It’s a lot and I am still working through that myself. Perhaps I will add an addendum to this once I process my own answers upon receiving them. I would also advise caution on googling things of this nature as they are bigger and scarier and less geared towards the individual. Broad scope is scary as fuck.

BUT… I do, wholeheartedly, invite you to touch your tatas once a month!

Though a mammogram may not be necessary for you yet, doing a breast tissue self exam is a very simple yet effective way to learn about YOUR body. What it feels like. What is normal to feel and what isn’t as normal to feel. Breast tissue changes during menstruation, times of great stress or sadness, and of course… pre + post natal.

It has been suggested to me to take photos to see color, shape, size etc of areola and nipple tissue, I look at them in the mirror every day as part of my own healing journey, but if that doesn’t sound like your jam- find a way to get to know the color and shape of your gals and their external tissues that works for YOU.

Don’t forget…men have breast tissue too. Though much less common, it does happen. 10 minutes. Once a month.

Here are some links to information I trust and utilize:

General Information

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/breast-cancer/symptoms-causes/syc-20352470

Self Exam

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/breast-exam/about/pac-20393237

*I will also invite you to ask your doc for a demonstration, it was very helpful to understanding armpit and tissue surrounding the ribs. All of which is breast tissue.

Support Groups & Other resources

https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/adjusting-to-cancer/support-groups

https://www.bcrf.org

There is a lot of information out there. And it is incredibly overwhelming. Start with you and your boobies and go from there.

-Mik.